Bimbang, bersalah dan rendah diri

Semalam, ade pengumuman berita baik. Elaun dan datang! Cume kene gi ambik lepas tu kene tunaikan kat bank dalam mase dua minggu. Agak lame la. tapi nanti sekejap je dan abes dua minggu.
Anyway, seblom nk amik elaun, ade ustazah yg in charge bgtau. Ade berita baik, dan berita buruk. Berita baik, ade orang dpt elaun USD900. (biase 600+). Tapi tu mengikut spekulasi, utk org yang sebelum ni dapat elaun tak cukup. Berita buruk, ade orang tak dapatr elaun. Nama kene potong. Jeng jeng jeng.
Tetiba peluh dingin keluar. Aku kah tu? Adakah kerana result tak baik jadi macam tu? Hurm... Matilah kalau benar. Tapi pikir-pikir balik, at least MARA kenela bagi surat ke, telefon parent ke maklumkan. Lagipun, MARA kenela bagi penjelasan. Takkan senyap-senyap je potong.
Alhamdulillah, nama yang kene potong tu sebab orang tu dah ambil elaun kat Malaysia. Fuh. Peluang masih ada.
Baca buku agak bosan. Dan mengantuk. Kenapa? tak tau. Tapi, kalau tak bace, macam mane nak pandai? Dilema, dilema, dilema. Main internet best. Tengok cerita Japun best. Tengok movie, best. Tapi, semua tu mane bleh menjanjikan untuk pandai dalam perubatan? Hurm... Semua rase tak kene.
Study di ruang tamu memang banyak keburukan. Paling utama, nanti ade orang akan menggoda. Kate semangat la dll. Memangla kene semangat. Ko takpe la, dah excellent. Aku ni?
Ape-ape pun, hidup harus ditempuhi dan aku harus tabah. Adios.

Thinking too much

We can be never TRULY happy with our lives. Specifically, our surrounding. Every second, every day, there is must be something that kept bugging our head. Even if we like it or not, we got to face it.

According to the westerners "Law of Attraction", in daily life we face so many things. Our reaction for those things actually somehow in other way affect the surrounding. And might be affected the world it self.

It is also said that, if we tend to hate one things, or kept thinking too much about the bad side of those things, those things however unfavorably become more and more attracted to us. This, I must said, is more or less same with the Islam teaching on the principle of "Redha".

Redha means we accept everything that happened either it is good or bad, eventhough we have tried till our limits to prevent the bad thing. The reason is: everything happen for a reason. In other words, we might just forget the "hated" things and go on with our life. It is more fulfilling evethough it needs lots of patience.

As for me, somehow patience have it limits. And of course, if we afraid that our behavior caused by "unsustainable-hatred-and-unfavored" might hurt somebody's feeling, we need a place to spit it out.

There are a lots of things that i hate. I know that i'm not perfect myself, but hey, I'm just mussing. Bear with it. :P.

I hate when people questioned my act/thinking/behaviour with over confident attitude, thinking that what they believe is PERFECTLY right.
Yes, I know that it is inappropriate to believe that we are always right. But hey, I'm always careful with my words and action. I always checks everything first. I know most of the people might said that I'm not a confident person from these behavior. But please, if you want to questioned me, check yourself and the situation first. And please, ask in a good manner. DO NOT be too sure of yourself when you were were dealing with me. OK? We all makes mistakes.
E.g: If I said that I've already sent all the files, go check by yourself one by one. Don't confidently said, "THERE IS ONE MORE. WHERE IT IS?". At least said, "I'll check it out".

I hate too much questions which answers can be obtained by observation.
I learn this habit from my fourth brother. While I was a little, I always ask my brother while he watch the television (as he watch it longer than me, since the start) about the story such as, "What is this story title?" "What happened?" "Why it happened like that?" etcetera. He replied, "watch it by yourself". Other than my parent + sibling, I usually kept silent to this question. If I generous enough, might only answer the first two question.

I hate money-greedy people
This Arabs always make me mad. We pay rent to the house agent. Suddenly, the house himself owner want his "commission " DIRECTLY from us. What? Your fat, ugly, over weight, overlapped skin stomach need more filling?? Not rich enough?

Thats all for today. Now I felt relieved and sleepy. But I need to study some more before sleep. Good day!! Toodles!!

mental block...

exam is nearer, but new subject which we got to learn is increased day by day. It is almost the same when I was in secondary school. The difference is during that time, I got "projects", which won't come out in exam.
so, to cure my worries, I got to do something....

feeling happy... or just as usual?

Well, i'm feeling great recently. Don't know why, but just great!! Maybe because the schedule for my lecture is loosening a little bit..